ONE NATION OF GHOULS! Pauline Hanson DISAPPEARS like a ghost and will the real Dean Fisher please stand up

EXCLUSIVE: One Nation leader Pauline Hanson hasn’t been seen in public for more than two weeks, with claims that a bout of COVID-19 has made her disappear like her party’s many ghost candidates at the recent federal election. Yael Grunseit investigates.

Dean Fisher – True Crime News Weekly’s favourite One Nation ghost candidate – to the surprise of absolutely nobody, did not take home the blue-ribbon seat of Wentworth in Sydney’s exclusive eastern suburbs at the recent federal election.

Fisher came in last on the polls, securing only 1.0% of the vote. Maybe if he’d shown his face and beach bod around Bondi, he could’ve bumped that up to at least 1.1%!

True Crime News Weekly embarked on a bit of a lazy manhunt for the real Dean Fisher. Unfortunately, none of the Dean Fishers we spoke to were willing to claim the title of One Nation’s resident beachside Casper.  

Our first suspect was Dean Fisher of Poolwerx Elanora. This Dean Fisher is the owner of a pool shop and mobile service with seriously top-notch reviews. As soon as TCNW laid eyes on this almost middle-aged white male fishing leaves out of a pool, we thought there’s a chance this could be our guy.  

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After making contact with the company, Poolwerx’s account manager quickly let TCNW know that the two Fishers were not of the same breed.  

“Dean Fisher who owns Poolwerx Elanora is not the One Nation candidate for Wentworth, they are different people,” the company’s account manager said.  

Shortly after this response, we received contact from Poolwerx’s Dean Fisher himself.

“I am not the person running for election,” Fisher told TCNW. “I am a Poolwerx owner in Elanora on the Gold Coast and live in Burleigh Waters.”  

Whilst it is completely logical for Poolwerx’s Fisher to assume that living in a different state would be enough to distance himself from the One Nation candidate, the election just gone by has proven otherwise. We had Darrin Marr and Heather Freeman, both of whom reside in Victoria, run as the One Nation candidates for Sydney’s Kingsford Smith and Parramatta respectively.  

Poolwerx’s Fisher finished off his response to TCNW with a conclusive statement.

“Must be a different Dean Fisher that you are talking about,” he wrote.  

We’re pretty confident that Poolwerx’s Fisher is off the hook.  

TCNW then contacted a bunch of other Dean Fishers to no avail.

We got in touch with Dean Fisher, a maintenance supervisor in Smithfield, New South Wales.

There was also Dean Fisher, a senior human resources manager at a corporation in Sydney, and a Dean Fisher working with the Australian Army.

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There was another Dean Fisher in Queensland, this time somewhere in Brisbane where he is working as a senior engineering specialist.

A handful more Dean Fishers could also be seen scattered all around Australia.

One Nation’s Dean Fisher is still out there, perhaps even unaware that he ran and lost the election in Wentworth.  

Whilst Dean Fisher’s loss was more than expected, One Nation’s trophy candidate and leader, Pauline Hanson – the person who likely signed off on their desperate ghost candidate scheme – was extremely lucky to survive a ghoulishly similar fate herself with the stoners at Legalise Cannabis Australia giving her a good run for the final Senate spot in Queensland.

Like her ghost cadres, Hanson’s own political spirit may also soon be nearing its end. A proud anti-vaxxer and unvaccinated against COVID-19, Hanson has been nowhere to be seen since May 19 after succumbing to the respiratory virus.

Rumours have been growing and swirling that the virus that has killed millions across the world has given Hanson a good run for her money. Some say she has had trouble breathing. Others have claimed the illness that is notorious for creating ‘brain fog’ has made the racist politician even more stupider than usual.

The Sydney Morning Herald earlier this week reported Hanson was apparently using mystery “home remedies” to get over the killer virus.

True Crime News Weekly contacted Hanson’s main electorate office in Brisbane by phone to put the rumours to bed and see if we could speak with the politician herself.

An electorate officer claimed Hanson was only in the office “just yesterday”.

“She is as good as she always is,” the One Nation spokesperson said.

“She is in high spirits. She’s not dying.”

The spokesperson then attacked the veracity of social media as well as mainstream media outlets.

“I don’t think you should get your news from Facebook,” the spokesperson said.

True Crime News Weekly then alerted the spokesperson that we had received numerous reports about Hanson’s serious ill health and that even mainstream media journalists had published claims that the politician has been so ill she requires mystery home remedies.

“I don’t think you should listen to the newspapers,” the One Nation mouthpiece blasted back.

“COVID is probably not as bad as you think it is.”

True Crime News Weekly then reminded the One Nation spokesperson that the virus had killed millions around the world. When asked if we could speak to Hanson herself, the electorate office erred.

“You can send an email through,” she said.

“She’s fine, she doesn’t have brain fog, she’s feeling great … I really have to go now, I’ve answered the question several times.”

Additional reporting and research by Serkan Ozturk

About Yael Grunseit 5 Articles
Yael Grunseit is an intern with True Crime News Weekly. She is interested in the manipulation of power in politics, the justice system and Australian culture. She is finishing up her degree in Philosophy and English at the University of Sydney where she has focused on creative writing. Her work has previously appeared in Voiceworks and Shirley Magazine, with a forthcoming chapbook being published by Harbor Editions.

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