SERVE & VOLLEY! PM Scott Morrison ordered deportation of Novak Djokovic to look ‘tough on borders’

EXCLUSIVE: Our resident satirist Kieran Butler has been in contact with an ex-Border Force employee who has spoken with a former colleague who was involved directly in the deportation of Australian Open champion, Novak Djokovic.

World tennis star Novak Djokovic has caused a firestorm of controversy around the globe this week after attempting to enter Australia on a medical exemption. Unvaccinated against Covid, Djokovic believed he could play at the Australian Open tournament later this month to defend his 2021 title after Tennis Australia granted him an exemption.

However, the divisive tennis champion hadn’t counted on Prime Minister Scott Morrison and his struggling LNP gang – who have let the Omicron strain of Covid cause havoc in Australia over the past few weeks – to use his circumstances to wield a desperate public relations battle ahead of a soon-to-be-called federal election. As soon as Djokovic arrived at Melbourne Airport, he was surrounded by Border Force officials and informed there ‘was a problem with his visa’.

Now, one of them has decided to speak out.

The truth is that disgruntled Border Force employees are a dime a dozen. If True Crime News Weekly reported on every tip-off about the paramilitary wing of the Liberal National Party there would be very little space left on the website to report on anything else.

RELATED: Scott Morrison is a Covid RAT!

We receive weekly accounts regarding the systematic torture of refugees in hotel detention, visas for cash, special treatment for au pairs and various other businesses linked to LNP members of Parliament. Border Force employees repeatedly tell us that the threats made to them regularly for speaking out add to the mental toll of working for this branch of the Australian government.

However, we believe that we have a duty to publish this account in full:

“A friend who still works for Border Force told me that the order to scrutinise and deport Djokovic came from the Prime Minister late on Wednesday afternoon. Border Force staff are routinely intimidated by officials from the Home Affairs department, but when this order was given they were told in no uncertain terms that the PM had personally demanded that there be only one outcome once Djokovic touched down in Melbourne,” the source revealed.

“This was a political deportation. The intent is clear. To remind the electorate that Morrison is tough on borders.”

Our source has spoken to us under strict anonymity. True Crime News Weekly will not reveal our source. Who really knows if this source is telling the complete and utter truth but we are well aware of the threats that are made to Border Force staff.

All we do really know for sure though is that Scott Morrison lies, lies and lies. Even about his wife Jenny joining pharmacy queues to buy him Rapid Antigen Tests.

Djokovic’s appeal against his deportation will be heard on Monday, January 10.

About Kieran Butler 33 Articles
Kieran Butler is a comedian, musician and satirist. He is best known in Australia for his pop-parody musical "Ben Cousins: a rock opera" and has received critical acclaim at the Edinburgh Fringe for "Che Guevara on the Fringe" (**** The Scotsman) and his sold-out "Australia is Fucked" trilogy. More info at

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