THE INTERVIEW: Robert ‘Oily’ Doyle on his Geelong College Daze

Robert Doyle Geelong College Feature Pic

Yet another case of child sexual abuse at Geelong College will have an other one of its former teachers – onetime Melbourne mayor and Liberal Party behemoth Robert Doyle – sweating under his collar once again, writes Gary Johnston.

Following the recent news that prestigious Victorian school, The Geelong College, has awarded a 46-year-old former student a sum in excess of $2.7m in respect of his being sexually abused by a former volunteer worker at the school in the 1980’s, the finger of fate once again points at ex Melbourne Mayor, Liberal Party lickspittle and sleaze bucket Robert Doyle.

Regular readers of True Crime News Weekly will be aware that for some years we have documented the purported peccadilloes of Doyle who, in addition to his stint in local and state politics, was previously a tight pants wearing schoolmaster at the self-same Geelong College in, surprise, surprise the 1980’s.

In recent years, three former Geelong College staff members having been convicted of child sexual abuse of students in the 1960s, 70s and 80s. And in just the past few days, another former member of staff – this time a music teacher – was jailed over the violent sexual assault of a student in 2000 and 2001.

Teacher Doyle commenced his career there in 1978. A photograph appeared in that year’s school magazine depicting Doyle eagerly licking an ice cream. Once viewed, it can never be unseen.

Robert Doyle pictured eagerly licking an ice cream in Geelong College’s school magazine in 1978 (Image: Supplied)

Earlier this year, after a period of public quiescence, which did not apparently preclude regular booze-filled lunches at a famous South Melbourne pub, the man who was universally known in his teaching days as ‘Oily Doyley’ appeared on Channel 9’s A Current Affair to give a vomit inducing interview, lubricated with lashings of oily self-pity, presumably of the extra virgin variety.

Hiding behind mealy-mouthed platitudes and numerous uses of the ambiguous and wholly inadequate word ‘inappropriate’ regarding his sleazy conduct toward several female council staff and politicians, Doyle then reacted to the undisguised contemptuous questioning of reporter Alexis Daish with crocodile tears, victimhood and a resolute refusal to own his sordid actions.

Ultimately, Daish was unable to pin the slippery and slimy one down and the interview petered out in an unsatisfying vale of tears with Doyle talking about ‘becoming a better man’ whilst, as no doubt as advised by his PR and lawyer, neatly managing to avoid any criminal responsibility.

It could have been so different. All it would have taken on Doyle’s part was something his behaviour, denials and verbal inanities seem to suggest he doesn’t possess in any measurable quantity – honesty.

And so, we present the interview it could have been. The questions and more importantly, the answers that a so called ‘better man’ could have provided if he hadn’t been thinking about the only person that matters to Robert Doyle. Himself.

TCNW: Robert Doyle, welcome to True Crime News Weekly.

RD: Thanks. Can I just say right from the off, this isn’t actually me? And that anything I do say cannot therefore be used in a court of law since this is a wholly imagined interview.

You’ll easily see that it’s not the real me. It’ll soon become patently obvious.

TCNW: How so?

RD: Because I intend to be completely honest.

TCNW: Truly?

RD: Hand on heart. I’ll put my hand on anyone’s heart. In fact, I frequently did.

Well, in the vicinity of the heart anyway. Though to be fair, generally I preferred the inner thigh.

TCNW: Tell us, I’m sure our readers would like to know – why did the students at Geelong College call you ‘Oily’ Doyley?

RD: Well, I suppose it was because I liked to work with my hands. I liked to tinker. Tinker with cars. Actually, truth be told, I liked to tinker in cars. Gear sticks and such like. My hand used to slip. Oily, you see.

TCNW: Yes. We do see, that explains it. Oily. You really are quite the joker, aren’t you?

RD: Well, you have to laugh, don’t you? I do anyway. I like fun. So much better than being miserable and unhappy all the time. Laughing is so much better than crying. I hardly ever cry. Only really did it when the cameras were rolling, to be honest.

And even then, I had to force myself.

TCNW: We noticed. As did everyone else who watched the interview. It looked forced, like you were really squeezing those tears out. I suppose being so oily would help.

RD: Yes. It did. It helped a lot. But there’s nothing wrong with crying is there? I mean, it’s neither here nor there.

In fact, it’s nowhere.

You have to remember those were different times. I was young. And the girls were … younger.

TCNW: Quite. Fact is, you’re an old sleazebag Robert, aren’t you?

RD: Maybe so. But back then I wasn’t.

I was a young sleazebag.

TCNW: That’s about the first honest thing you’ve said.

RD: Thanks.

TCNW: I think we’re done here, don’t you? You’re done, anyway. But, in the spirit of reconciliation, honesty and remorse, don’t you think it’s time you spoke to your old pals in Victoria Police, fessed up to everything you did and so provide your victims with a modicum of closure?

RD: No. After all, this isn’t the real me, is it? And it isn’t about them, is it?

It’s always been about me. Still is. Always will be.

TCNW: Robert Doyle, you truly deserve everything that’s coming to you. It couldn’t happen to a nastier man.

RD: Thanks. Are you going to wish me luck for the future?

TCNW: No. You’ve used up all your luck. It’s about time it ran out. It sounds to us that you have no shame and no regret.

RD: Not true. I have regrets. Many. And in particular there’s one thing I really genuinely, honestly wish had never happened.

TCNW: ???

RD: I wish I’d never been found out.