TRUE OPINION: How good is Australia at being f*cked

TRUE OPINION: Australia as a nation has much to be proud of, writes Kieran Butler.

How good is refugee torture? How good is indefinitely detaining them in a hotel to catch Covid? How good is serving them maggot-infested meals? How good was Reza Berati being beaten to death in 2014? How good was allowing Berati’s killer’s to slip away quietly to escape justice?

How good is having the threat of deportation hanging over the heads of small children? How good is denying rape victims an abortion because they are gaming the system by being raped? How good is refugees setting fire to themselves in abject desperation? How good is stopping the boats?

How good is deporting that Serbian bastard who thinks he’s better than you?

“It never gets any gooder!” cheers Australia. Like the salivating and grammatically challenged dogs that they are.

The fact is Scott Morrison ordered the deportation of Novak Djokovic. I reported on this for True Crime News Weekly last week. The fact is he did it for votes. Opinion polling due out in just a few days will confirm a swing back toward his government. Morrison would have won an election last weekend. This is because footage of defeated and dejected refugees languishing in the Park Hotel in Melbourne is pornography for Australians. The birth rate will spike in nine months. How good is Australian refugee torture porn!

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Australia is a morally bankrupt country. Last week, Ally Moore said on ABC radio Melbourne that she was somewhat ashamed as a member of the Australian media that the plight of refugees being detained indefinitely received so little attention. Moore then asked if anyone listening had only just become aware of what was happening to refugees at the Park Hotel since Djokovic had been holed up there for a few nights. No one called in. Everyone knows. Everyone thinks it’s good as fuck!

I called her producer. I said that refugee torture is baked into Australian culture now. Proof of this is the fact the ALP will not promise to change a thing. I said it was disingenuous to suggest otherwise. The producer said that talk back was all done for the day, but I could call back tomorrow. A common ruse in the talk back game.

I called the ABC Melbourne afternoon show and after waiting on hold for over 90 minutes. I was told they would call me back when they were ready. They didn’t. So I called in again. Persistence is key if you’re telling the truth to a nation that lies to itself all the time; and elects liars and refugee torturers as their leaders.

Finally, I got to air with Mary Gearin. I mentioned that Hawke is still torturing the girls from Bilo. (There is no doubt they will be deported for more votes during the election campaign. There’s nothing more Australian than child abuse. Ask George Pell.) I said that indefinitely detaining refugees is part of Australia’s identity. I pointed out that the ALP never speak out against it. At some point she cut me off. I was probably ducked out by then. Who knows what went to air. It’s not my fucking ABC!

RELATED: SERVE & VOLLEY! PM Scott Morrison ordered deportation of Novak Djokovic to look ‘tough on borders’

Behrouz Boochani said it best. The Australian Immigration Minister is vested with the powers of a dictator. Australians are happy with this. Until it affects them. Then they whinge and whine like stuck pigs about it. Alex Hawke is a Hillsong God-bothering f*ckwit who talks to Eagles like his mentor, Scott Morrison. Hawke let his Hillsong mates slip off the Ruby Princess in 2020 and spread Covid with gay abandon. He’s a typical Australian hypocrite.

Novok Djokovic thinks he is better than you because he is. He is arguably the greatest tennis player in the history of the game. In order to be that, you have to be an arrogant wanker. There are tonnes of the government’s mates coming and going without being vaccinated. Guaranteed.

F*ck me, only ten minutes ago Scott Morrison was banging on about “personal responsibility” and Australians being sick of governments telling them what to do.

Morrison and Hawke’s best argument for deporting Djokovic was that he might “excite anti vaccination activists”. That the Full Bench of the Federal Court supported the deportation confirms Boochani was right. Hawke and Morrison have untrammeled dictatorial powers. I wonder how many ‘I hate Dictator Dan’ anti-vaxxers will put two and two together on this. The answer is none. Refugee torture porn trumps all for the average Australian.

Sporting champions used to be venerated in Australia. A measure of how much this country has changed is that this call back to Australia’s wank bank of refugee torture and racism will appeal to millions of Australians.

If you were not barracking for Djokovic here, I can confidently predict you don’t have enough cunt in you to beat a psychopath like Morrison. If you are bleating “I can support the decision to uphold the deportation and still hate Morrison” you are deluding yourself.

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In 2014 I wrote a parody of that nauseating ditty the blokes from The Seekers churned out. I called it You’re Not Australian. It is still relevant. I closed and opened performances of my Australia Is Fucked trilogy with that song over a hundred times. There is nothing better than hearing the chorus “20 odd million cunts is way too many” sung by a full room of punters. It’s like singing “Fuck off. We’re Full” with a wry smile.

A rebooted version for 2022 is on its way. It will be front and centre in my campaign to win the federal seat of Hawke.

“We are. You’re not. You’re not Australian.” Sing it for Australia.

Enjoy it in all its glory below.

About Kieran Butler 33 Articles
Kieran Butler is a comedian, musician and satirist. He is best known in Australia for his pop-parody musical "Ben Cousins: a rock opera" and has received critical acclaim at the Edinburgh Fringe for "Che Guevara on the Fringe" (**** The Scotsman) and his sold-out "Australia is Fucked" trilogy. More info at


  1. How good are COVID 19 mandates, enforced by idiots more likely to die from heart disease or obesity related problems than from any made up flu?

    How good are so called True Crime websites who pump out nothing but horseshit op ed pieces?

    The Cult of Mediocrity has infested this country for a long time.

    The Ham and Eggers up on this site would love the communist dictatorship of the ACT; they could be there with overfed, underworked “refugees” complaining about everything and anything, while awaiting APS contract work that they have no qualifications for.

      • It’s amazing how different the mentalities are between you peoples outside of the ACT, and those living within it.

        You communist lovers would love it here.

        Don’t get that confused with support for that scumbag Morrison, who should be hanged from his neck until he is dead.

        But supporting open card carrying communists like yourself, who will always prioritize so called thought crime over real crime is also a mistake.

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