TRUE OPINION: “When did you hear about the, Rape Morrison?”

TRUE OPINION: Rape scandal after rape scandal after rape scandal for Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s government only means one thing to a man addicted to cover-ups, according to stand-up comedian and satirist Kieran Butler.

Lock down in Victoria seems cloyingly familiar. Winter is upon us. You wake in fright to the numbers of new cases, the kids are as interested in home schooling as their parents, and the Morrison government is making it up as they go along.

I am 50 so I called up my local GP to get the Covid-19 vaccine a couple of weeks ago. It took three phone calls before I was transferred to the “Vaccination Hotline”. Once there, I was told I couldn’t get an appointment for 15 weeks and requested to call back around then to make an appointment.

I said I could go to the convention centre in Melbourne before then and whomever it was I was talking to said, “Yeah, I suppose so”.

Let that sink in for a minute. ‘Cos it makes no fucking sense at all. If this was the hotline to Batman, Commissioner Gordon would no doubt have lost his shit.

RELATED: UNMASKED FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER TWO YEARS! Meet the Liberal Party toff at centre of alleged Parliament House “security breach” which left young woman traumatised

So, I surfed around the waves of the internet to discover there was a Covid-19 vaccinations centre 20 kilometres down the road. I walked in and was jabbed within 10 minutes. “Easy” as the kids say. I waited for longer than that scoring ecstasy at my dealer’s house in the late 90’s.

I read political commentary and analysis voraciously. I listen to the radio and watch a lot of politics on TV. If this information was out there I would have seen it. It simply isn’t.

Furthermore, nobody seems to be talking about the fact that it is not federal government incompetency that has made the roll out of the vaccine slower than Collingwood moves the ball.

Make no mistake. This is no incompetence. It is intentional.

The Morrison government is still out-running those pesky allegations of rape in a ministers office and their champion one-time “mass debater” and alleged “brutal anal rapist”, Christian Porter, is having all sorts of problems suppressing the publication of evidence in his defamation suit against the ABC, now that he has grovellingly dropped his case against the public broadcaster this week.

I’d suggest that the next person Porter sue is himself. He’s the only one who has trashed his so-called reputation. It also looks like Porter’s toddler son deleted the contents of his mobile phone for nothing. Such a shame.

RELATED: BEREJIKLIAN’S BIG BURDEN! Liberal Party adviser arrested over rape of two children can be named in the public interest as scandal goes right up to NSW Premier

Like refugee torture, rape is a standard Australia will walk past as long as they can forget about it. But it is going to take time: Australians forget stuff quite easily, except when there are constant reminders, like Phil Gaetjens bizarre testimony before Senate estimates last week.

The question, “When did you hear about the, Rape Morrison?” (Capitalisation intended: It is a terrific nickname for so many reasons) is a curly one. Plausible deniability only goes so far. That Morrison covered it up is obvious to anyone who knows him. He quietly allowed refugee Reza Berati’s killers to escape justice years ago so none of that caused any problems for the government.

Telling Brittany Higgins to ‘take one for the team’ is a no brainer.

Norman Swan belled the cat last week when he pointed out that flu vaccines were administered in their millions every year through established channels but that the federal government had contracted out the Covid-19 vaccine through their own bespoke system in order to take full credit for it.

RELATED: SO WRONG! Alleged rapist Christian Porter lectured forum of private school kids on being a ‘good leader’ & ‘right decisions’ one month after alleged rape victim died

While it is true that everyone will forget about all the rape in time, the same applies to a vaccine roll out. Do it too early and, like Jobkeeper, everyone will forget who took credit for it. Therefore, the best time to roll it out successfully would be just prior to the next election, enabling Morrison to claim victory in his war against the deadly virus while announcing that international borders are now opening up as a result.

It is a real bind they are in. Go early on the roll out and risk an election while everyone still recalls Christian Porter and his dodgy-now-failed litigation regarding his stellar performance backstage at the national debating championships in 1989. This will remind everyone too about what happened to Brittany Higgins all over again.

RELATED: I’m going to become a racist wanker politician like the rest of them. Hear me out…

The obvious solution is to slow down the vaccine roll out until early next year; when everyone will confuse Higgins with the wonderful woman turned legal captive who sang: “Hit me baby one more time” (Note to self: That is a parody just waiting to be written).

That is why the vaccine hotline told me I’d be waiting 15 weeks. That is why Victoria is in lock down again. That is why a few more people are just going to have to die in aged care home.

Because annoying people are going to continue to ask: “When did you hear about the, Rape Morrison?”

About Kieran Butler 33 Articles
Kieran Butler is a comedian, musician and satirist. He is best known in Australia for his pop-parody musical "Ben Cousins: a rock opera" and has received critical acclaim at the Edinburgh Fringe for "Che Guevara on the Fringe" (**** The Scotsman) and his sold-out "Australia is Fucked" trilogy. More info at

1 Comment

  1. As always there’s one law for them and one for us.
    If a person works in the Gov sector they’re a hero for post-abuse exposure of sexual abuse and corruption.
    An ordinary person in the community can be subject to any type of abuse including sexual abuse/rape (in or out of the ‘instutution’), ignored or silenced, and abuse of them condoned.

    The evidence is: no-one gives a hoot.

Have Your Say